Upful Vibes.

Yesterday I went for a routine beauty appointment and as soon as my beautician came into the room where I was, she said “Ah, I’m so glad you’re here, I’m so glad to see you!”. It was as if she knew what was about to occur. I thank God that in that moment, I was not facing her entirely - my face was a picture (I'm still praying for deliverance from this LOL!) I had a look of bewilderment on my face, utter confusion. It’s not me she's speaking of, she must have the wrong person, It's been a minute since I’ve even been here. All these (and more), were the reasons why I knew she was not talking about me. Bearing in mind I've been there a total of 5 times.

Here’s the thing. I was born a cynic. A recently exposed one. Or perhaps I should say, skeptic - or both. It was like I had attended an AA meeting and said “Hi, I’m Cerise and I’m a cynic”. Good news,  this isn't the sum total of my character but it’s a part of it. In adult terms, we call it “realism”. I’m a realist. The airy fairy does not always work for me and I’m not one to ignore the bottom line -  in fact, I underscore it. Lately, however, I’ve been forced to reassess. As we all know, or will shortly know, life is full of curveballs. Sometimes they don't even curve - they just straight up smack you in the face. We’ve all been there. The love lost, the friendships withered, the jobs ended. More month left at the end of our money - true story. Nobody is immune and unfortunately we can't take a days ‘annual leave’ from life. 

My commute to work affords me the time to converse and think out loud with my husband. We drive part way to work and being city workers, we both know that once we seperate we are subject to the deafening silence present on the train into London, occasionally broken by “This stop is….”. So, we make the most of our conversation in the car. My husband knows that if he needs an honest opinion, he only needs to half ask, but this time was different. I was giving my honest opinion for free, I didn't need to be asked. Another word for this is “complaining”. I complained the whole 50 minute drive about various things - it seemed I covered the entire alphabet with my complaints. It wasn’t long before he got annoyed and said, “Cerise, why are you so negative?!”. I was taken aback as my whole life I had seen myself as an encourager - sprinkled with a somewhat generous helping of realist speech. My husband had had enough. I was too negative, I always wanted to give the realist’ view. He told me straight, I needed to be more positive. For the first time, I took on exactly what he said (dont judge me!). The truth is, I knew I needed to be more positive and I needed to practice more positive speech - he had just reinforced what I had been thinking already. Negativity is draining, it costed a lot and it never paid anything (underscore!!).

I have realised that the key is response, how we respond to our circumstances. We always have a choice. We can choose to be negative or positive. It starts small. It starts with a greater consciousness in our minds and of our tongues. It starts with pausing before we speak and correcting our thoughts if we feel them going south. The cognitive-behavioural approach (Yup, I’m a psychology post-grad). We need to think healthier so our words become healing. Our words have power, I’m still waiting for someone to challenge me on that. 

I’m reminded of Proverbs 18:21 which says “Words kill, words give life, they’re either poison or fruit—you choose” (The Message Version). It could not be plainer. We’d all love fruit over poison.

So back to my story with my beautician. She proceeded to tell me ALL of her business woes, she was losing her business, in a nutshell. Her business partner emptied her account and now she had to close her business. All she had worked for - gone, so quickly down the drain. At first I wondered why she was telling me all of this but my purpose in the conversation swiftly came into sharp focus. I was able to remind her of a few things that I’d like to share with you:

1. Everything happens for a reason - nothing escapes the notice of God, whether you believe or not. He controls this world and you’re a part of it. And additionally, you’re HIS world.

2. The punchline is below…

3. Sometimes we hope/pray for change in our lives and it happens - but not in a way we'd prefer. It comes in the cloak of failed exams/job interviews, redundancies, lost homes, defaulted bank accounts, broken relationships...many ways. (Blog post coming on this soon…)

This is the point. I was able to share the positive aspects of her clearly challenging situation. She said, “You came for a beauty appointment and I feel so much better, you’re so positive!”. She was so grateful. At that moment, I knew that hadn't I had that awakening on my commute earlier in the same day, I probably would’ve wallowed with her too. Thank God for my husband's righteous indignation. It put me in line and I able to engage positively with her and encourage her into seeing a brighter future for herself. Death and life are truly in the power of YOUR tongue and a merry heart indeed, does good, like medicine (Proverbs 17:22). I’m learning to consciously practice positivity - you should too.

In the words of the artist Chronixx, “ Nuh bother with the downful style, Strictly upful vibes…!”

I sure hope I left her with a merry heart yesterday. I felt good. Positivity begets positivity.