Take Your Time.

So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

Time is already flying. We’re already mid-January - can you believe it? I have a pretty good memory but I’m convinced I can remember New Years 2017. Ok - it was my first New Years, married so that may have something to do with it! However you look at it, time is moving a whole lot faster than perhaps we’d like.

I have a lot of foresight - at least I’d like to think so. With that, comes a strong desire to plan. I’m always planning. Like seriously, always. Planning a day trip, a holiday, the next week, someone's birthday, my own birthday (even up to a year in advance!), my entire life. Everyone who knows me knows that I’m the master planner. It’s crazy how much I plan. However, I’ve learnt that though planning and strategizing are good, there is very little room for spontaneity and much room for disappointment. Many times, I’ve been left disappointed because of how my plans have not come to fruition.

A very valuable lesson I am learning is to take one day at a time - nothing more than that. This absolutely grates against my planning obsessed nature and it’s been a very difficult lesson to learn. Most of my days look (and looked) the same - a very early start, the dreaded commute, work for 7-8 hours, the mad rush home and then settling down for the night. The thought of doing this 5 times a week is mentally draining, I was easily becoming overwhelmed by it all. I wanted to do a hobby, relax with my husband but had no time. I wanted to to lose weight but had no time to workout. I wanted to eat healthier but had no time to prepare my meals. It was way too much. I found myself taking more sick days off work and simply not wanting to go, my energy levels plummeted - I was not able to balance and many times I told my husband that I felt and knew I was not working at optimum. Being a woman especially, burnout is easy to achieve. Thankfully, I noticed this streak developing and quickly took stock.

I went to the place I knew I could find strength - I went to God. He knew all the things I wanted to do and how I was not able to work to optimum, and He sympathized with me. After MANY complaints (let’s be real!) and much wining, I told God that I could not do it anymore - I told Him that I quit. I quit trying to take on more than the one day He had provided to me each morning. His response came through loud and clear. “STOP OBSESSIVELY PLANNING, you stubborn child of mine. Take one day at a time. Take your time, pace yourself and I will take care of the rest. You'll see.” Yes, it sounds so cliche, but that tough love changed everything for me. I got up and literally, like a dependent child, took one step, one day at a time. I took each hour carefully and resolved to leave the next day, next week, next month, to God. How can you do that though? Just stop planning. Get up each day and ask God to write on the blank page of your day. Ask Him to give you energy for that much needed workout and down time too. Once I asked (it's that simple!!!) it then became easier to fit in the things I wanted to do - exercise, prepare meals, spend time with my husband. I slowly, but surely, noticed lasting changes, it was almost as if God created 27 hours in a day (instead of 24), just for me. I'm not perfect but nowadays, each day I wake up, I give myself small goals, little tasks to accomplish and the anxiety is disappearing.

Do I still have a general overview of how I want things to go in the long and short term? Yup, you can bet I do - I don’t think that will ever change. But the difference is that I take on less on a daily basis - I take each day as it comes. One day at a time. Ask God to show you how to number your days. No, it doesn't mean that you are literally numbering them off - it means to make each day fully count. I like how The Message Bible translation puts it - “Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well!”. Live each day well my friends, live in today. Take your time & learn to leave the rest to God.